Can't Please Everyone

Having the opportunity to work with coaching clients and
patients on a daily basis has given me the ability to recognize
patterns, which can be defined as “predictable behaviors.”
Sometimes these patterns prevent my clients and patients from
being healthier, increasing their wealth, striving to be
happier, or achieving whatever other goals they may have.

A pattern that I often see is trying to please everyone.
Comedian Bill Cosby said, “I don’t know the key to success, but
the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

Another pattern of behavior I frequently witness is the fear of
trying something new, often because my client or patient is
afraid of making a mistake. This pattern often compromises
dreams and goals. I like to remind those afflicted by this fear
of the words of the legendary football coach Vince Lombardi,
“If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not trying hard enough.”

What if striving for your dream doesn’t work out and you make
mistakes along the way? As far as I am concerned, that’s okay.
Few in life get away unscathed. We all make mistakes. It’s
better to try your hand at something new and make a mistake
than to never try at all. Hopefully, you’ll learn not to make
the same mistake again. It’s okay to make mistakes; just learn
from them.

Here is what I’ve learned: you can’t please everyone. It’s
impossible. If you have a business you should always pay
yourself first, even if it’s just a small amount. Your primary
obligation in life is to create your own happiness and be
pleased with yourself.

This week, while driving to an activity, I was talking with my
child. (I use the car as my platform to speak with my children.
I figure there’s no escape, therefore, it’s time for life’s
lessons.) We were discussing careers. My son told me he wanted
to be a chef and then asked if I was okay with that. I asked
him if he was okay with being a chef. I explained it is his
dream (at least for the moment) and he has to be comfortable
with his decisions. There are so many people who have followed
a career path to please mommy and daddy. It’s natural to want
to please our parents and teachers when we are young; we seek
their approval.  As we get older, however, we have to live our
own dream, not someone else’s.

Have a great week. Remember that you can’t please everyone and
there’s no better time than now to begin living the life that
you’ve always dreamed of.

Dr. Michael Kaye
Knowledge, Action, Results