Lessons from the Ice Rink

Last week I took my nephew to a birthday party.  It was an ice
skating party. Now, I love the heat and it was a hot, beautiful,
sunny afternoon. The cold ice rink was not my idea of a fun
place to spend three hours!

To occupy myself, I began to study the crowd of people.  This is
not an unusual pastime for me; I always assess the postures and
gaits (manner of walking) of the people I see around me.  Like
the landscaper evaluating a lawn or the contractor checking out
the construction of a building, I am influenced by my profession
when it comes to observing people.

I couldn’t help but notice one of the guests at the party.

He entered the rink with great trepidation and clung to the side
of the wall. He began taking baby steps. All around him kids
were skating by with great ease. The boy took a fall, and I mean
right on his bum. If I had taken that kind of fall, I would
probably need a weekend’s worth of ice and a week of
recuperation. He got back up and then he fell again. I was
thinking that it was going to be a long three hours for this
kid.

He spied a few safety cones and obviously got an idea. He
stacked the cones on top of each other and held onto them for
balance. Two things occurred: he moved away from the wall and he
adapted to his situation.

Although he was holding onto the cones, he continued to fall,
just not as often. He fell, got up, fell again, got up again —
over and over. I lost count of how many times he fell and got
up. At this point one of the other kids skated over and offered
help, but the boy kindly refused.

After about an hour and a half, the kids came off the ice. I saw
my nephew talking to the boy, so I walked over to see if
everything was okay. I found out that it was only the second
time the boy had been on ice. He told me that not only was he
fine (no pain—ah, great to be young), but that he was having a
great time!

The kids ate lunch and had birthday cake. (At my nephew’s
request, I refrained from any lectures on sugar!) Then they
laced their skates and went back out onto the ice.

The boy entered the ice rink, but he did not hold onto the wall
as much as he had initially. After a few minutes he began to
move away from the wall and tried to skate. Boom—down again. Up
again and down again. This time he couldn’t use the cones for
balance as some bigger kids had taken them away.  Each time he
got up, he maintained his balance a little longer, but I began
to see the frustration in his face.

Another kid skated by and again the boy was offered help. This
time he agreed to let the kid help him. The experienced skater
said, “Take my hands and I’ll pull you along. We’ll do this
together.” They started slowly and you could see the boy’s
rhythm improve. And then it happened. The “teacher” let go and
the boy, who only a couple of hours before had been holding onto
the cones and the wall for dear life, was in an upright position
and skating. Was it smooth? No, it wasn’t, but he was up and he
was moving.

There are important lessons to take away from this event.

One. The brain has great plasticity. In other words we have a
great capacity to learn and develop new skills. Learning how to
adapt to a situation is the key to survival and success.

Two. Success does not happen overnight. Yes, the boy was able to
finally maintain an upright position, but to skate better he
will have to practice, practice, practice.

Three. Don’t quit. Many people quit way too soon.  They don’t
give themselves a chance to reach their goals.

Four. You will fall. You will stumble. That is life. The growth
comes in getting up and moving forward.

Five. No man is an island. Be willing to accept help, guidance,
mentoring, coaching, consulting and advice.

To Your Success & Health,

Dr. Michael Kaye
Knowledge, Action, Results

P.S. If you would like to participate in my Wellness & Success
Coaching Program please e-mail me at
Michael@frompaintopersonalgain.com